“Why did this happen to me?” is not a wise question, because it calls you to be the victim.
Instead, just go through the trauma that difficult situation brought. Yes, please go through that trauma because that is going to make you more compassionate, more empathetic, and a better human being who navigates through darkness in search of their own light.
If no one else around you tells you to do so, remember that because they haven’t healed their own trauma / hurt / pain / suffering so far, they know only little.
Use your voice and platform to be the epitome of energy you were always destined to be.
Anyone who is not experiencing heightened enthusiasm and excitement for life is because they have refused to and diffused into comfort zone.
Comfort feels great only when you do a full day’s good work and then long for a great night sleep. Other than that it is killing you bit by bit internally, without you being aware of it.
Why do we fear change in the first place? Because:
- It involves responsibility, which means there are equivalent chances to fail and succeed.
- It will make you face criticism and anger not only from naysayers, also from loved ones.
- Dying bit by bit seems easy instead of facing the fear and living anew.
If instead of presenting all these “valid” reasons, we would consider this:
- We fell down multiple times before ever learning to walk.
- Your loved ones really want to see you happy, it is just that they are simply afraid of you failing which is inevitable in the route to success.
- Death is certain. It is living that is uncertain based on how we shape our days.
Change is scary. You know it. You also know that if you do not change, comfort is fatal.
There is plenty of time to die once you are dead, while there is breath in your lungs please live.
Look at the big goals you have set for yourself. Look at the smile you have imagined on your parents’ faces that will come true upon you showing up to your dreams. Look at the happiness you will spread in the world when you do your most scariest fantasies.
Amidst all that, do you really want to live your life in a fantasy? Do you really want to be someone who just dreamt and never did? For sure you do not want to squander your life being wasted for things that did not amount much at the end.
All you have got on your platter is a wonderful opportunity of 24 hours when you wake up each morning. Here are some do’s and dont’s that may help in navigating through those 24 hours happily:
- First thing upon waking, be present and think the thoughts that you want your reality to be
- Touch newspaper only once, preferably in the middle of the day and not in morning or evening
- Be kind and patient even when you have all the reasons to complain and grumble
- Stay away from energy draining people and you would have saved yourself a plenty of happiness and optimism
- Always keep expanding what’s possible for you. Become stagnant and demise begins
- Pursue a sport / dance / any other physical activity that keeps your health in amazing envious physical condition
- Take time to meditate and enjoy yourself alone (there is difference between alone and lonely)
And, if you are too focussed on valuing your time, do watch this 2-minute video on shopping challenge here and you will have a miracle your way.
Ignorance is usually not bliss if it is ignorance related to what’s most important to you.
However a lot of the times it is the best to remain ignorant w.r.t.:
Most importantly, the utterly powerful, the highest and the most calming ignorance that you and I must practice our entire lives is the ignorance about what other people think of you. They are simply judging because that is what they have been taught to do, they don’t know better.
You be better because you have been taught to let go baby.
- GDP of the country (find something interesting to change instead of talking about what unpleasant is already there)
- Whether the flight is fully occupied or not (use your air time to learn and execute)
- What did they say about me (every person tells a fact based on their perceptive filters and it is bound to be flawed by the time it reaches you. Prefer NEVER to listen what anyone else said about you, no matter how important it is)
- What your ex is doing on social media (you have to unfollow them in real life)
- What size does your favourite celebrity wear (being a raving fan and being an assistant stylist are two different entities)
- How much does your best friend earn (just love them without their income tax return, please)
- How much do you weigh (if you really are particular about your exercise, sleep and eating habits, weight hardly matters)
Yes you were hurt and shattered and broken into pieces in the past and the pain that gave you was unbearable.
Then why have you adopted that pain and become a parent to it? Why can’t you just abandon it by learning the lessons and let it be in the past, not present and future anymore?
Here’s the reason why: Because feeling unfulfilled and blaming a disrespectful relationship, or unpleasant childhood do not require work or responsibility. It simply requires blame. Understandably your pain was bitter and you are simply nursing it by doing nothing to eliminate it.
People fall so in love with their pain, they can’t leave it behind. The same as the stories they tell. We trap ourselves.”
— Chuck Palahniuk
Fall in love with taking responsibility of easing out on your life, so that it allows for all the good to flow in which is unfortunately being blocked currently by the past that is the past, not the present and the future. Do not allow past painful memories and as a bonus point, past painful people into your life; because as the great poet Maya Angelou noted, “When people show you who they are, believe them.”
Show yourself baby, who you are.
Q: “What are your office timings?”
A: “Oh, they are biig…usually 12 hours a day.”
The above response is not a statement of pride for doing great work. It is rather a reflection of superb inefficiency.
Too often, we regard coming home late as a sign of being an obedient and responsible employee who will readily sacrifice their life, family and recharge time for work, work that when effectively planned, would be completed before time.
We all have seen few, rare individuals who not only complete their work on time and leave from work on time, rather are also living a fulfilled and happy life. The choice here to make is not to squander time in meetings or meaningless cafeteria gossips or scrolling through social media or stalking people online; just because we are anticipating staying up late as usual.
The solution lies in proper planning, delegation and most importantly creating solutions like a hero with utmost optimism, when the plan falls apart.
People are their stories.
Stories come from beliefs.
Beliefs are borne by thoughts.
Thoughts emerge from environment.
Creating a great environment is up to the people (and YouTube videos and books) we surround ourselves with.
You always get to choose, and even in instances of not having a choice, you’ve made a choice to not to have a choice.